The Perfect Grilled Cheese Recipe

Now I really hate all of these food porn websites, so I'm going to stick my little blurb after the recipe. Before the recipe, all you need to know, is this is the best grilled cheese I have ever made. Ever.

Large white loaf

1 small white onion

3 cloves garlic

3 - 4 tbsp butter

6 strips bacon

2 big spoons mayonnaise

3 sun dried tomato halves

dried basil

fontina cheese

1 avocado

Combine sun dried tomato, mayo, pepper and 1 clove minced garlic with blender

Slowly fry or grill bacon (important for getting it crispy but not burnt)

Fry onion in bacon fat with dried basil added towards the end

Mix butter (amount depends on how soon you want your heart attack), some bacon fat and remaining garlic

Spread butter mix on outward facing side of sliced bread

Cook low and slow 

Layers are as thus: mayo on both sides, cheese, onion, bacon, avocado, bacon, cheese, lid. Butter lid.

Fuck yeah. Eat.

Read on if you care to, if not, it will not interrupt the enjoyment of this sandwich in any way.

So, I hate having to scroll through lots of self indulgent blurb about the food people are making. But it's not just the blurb, it's the glut of pictures throughout the recipe. The pictures aren't even in the recipe, or really to help you with the recipe. It's so the author can look at it and think 'wow, doesn't that look professional?' But no, it doesn't. It just looks like everyone elses. Turns out most people can take a fairly appetising picture of food as long as you can create some soft background and fade effect. The pictures very rarely help to clarify the instructions, although it does look like they should. 

My own personal feelings on this sandwich are clear. It left me with a tear in my eye. I wanted to give everyone in the world a bite so they could experience the sheer joy of this decadent beast.

Aren't you glad you didn't have to scroll past all this to get to the recipe? Aren't you glad I didn't choose to inflict myself on you unless you chose that punishment? Take stock, people.

Served with a big helping of get over yourselves. 

An Austin Style Welcome

While Roswell was not everything I hoped it would be, the next stop surpassed my expectation. Again, we were mainly trying to get our money's worth out of our annual national park pass, so we stopped at Carlsbad Caverns. We didn't do anything around the park, just went straight to the caverns. The place was pretty empty as it was a weekday and it was cold. But wow! The caves were beautiful and huge - the main room could hold an airbus, or so I was told. It is spectacular and I had an eerie sense of being at home. I can't explain it, but every part of me wanted to play house. I was transported back to the times when you don't see a huge cardboard box, you see a multi-story home. You don't see a living room, you see a fort waiting to happen. I wanted to run all over this cavern and dub one space the bedroom, and the next a kitchen. My brain was spinning over with all the possibilities awaiting throughout the cavern. I haven't had an urge like that to 'play' for as long as I can remember, and it's a feeling I intend to hold on to for as long as possible. Pure, unadulterated joy. It took us nearly 2 hours to walk the whole thing, and I was very thankful for the elevator at the end!

We continued on to Van Horne - a town that looks like it has evolved out of a truck stop. It is simply a strip of mediocre diners and motels, with one more upscale hotel for those wanting more plush surrounds. We, of course, stayed in a crappy but serviceable motel. I wish I could say more about this little stopover, but that is all it was really, a stopover. We were up early the next day and our way.

We wanted to stop in a place called Marfa. When we first decided we were going to do a roadtrip, we were asking random people where they would stop. The first guy we asked this told us about Marfa. He was from Texas and had recently moved to Seattle and told us about this weird art installation in the middle of the desert. We felt that it rounded the trip off nicely - the last thing we visit is the first thing we pinned to our

map. It was on a long strip of road and we almost drove past it! We were expecting it to be in the town of Marfa, but it was something  like 50 miles out. It's a Prada shop, complete with shoes and bags, carefully placed in the middle of the desert. You can't go in, just window shop as it were. Apparently the government are trying to take it down because they define it as a billboard, not an art installation. Fingers crossed they don't get their way!

We did want to stop in Marfa, but we had previously decided to do a long haul and just get to Austin. Road Tripping in motels is no where near as fun as in the RV, and every night we stayed in a motel our money was reducing. So we drove through Marfa and have every intention of going back for a weekend. For a place seemingly stuck out in the middle of nowhere, they have carved out quite a community for themselves. I did hear that artists headed out to these parts for a bit of inspiration and to get away from the pace of Austin. There is a university there and some really quirky looking stuff, it really was a shame that we didn't get to stop on the way.

It was a long drive to Austin made worse by our panic about the van. The Texas roads that head through miles of empty space are windy. Damn windy. Our van gets thrown all over the place, and the driver's side wheel randomly thuds against the wheel arch. So we were driving and waiting for a wheel to do flying off. This is rather melodramatic, I know. But let's see how you hold your sanity together when barrelling down the road at 70mph and you start to hear and feel a intermittent sound coming from under the vehicle. Your brain is telling you it's fine while you have to stop your body from finding the door handle and doing a tucked body roll out of the vehicle to the safety of the unthudding ground.

This was not my biggest bite...

We got to Austin in one piece. We found a motel last minute and managed to get them down from $65 to $45 a night. When I got to the room, I could not believe my eyes. How anyone could charge $65 for that room and look them in the eye I will never know. The walls had stains on every one. It looked like someone had stood in the middle on a lazy susan and projectile vomited. It lacked the basic amenities given to us at every other motel (which were half the price). The location was crap. The next day I woke up covered in bed bugs. Well, I didn't realise they were bed bugs until later on in the day when they started to swell up. The worst one, which I still have, swelled up to the size of my palm. Never, ever stay at The Sands Motel in Austin. I have already written a review on yelp, just in case anyone else has the misfortune of even considering this place.

We swiftly moved to a motel that provided kitchenettes and paid a week upfront. It was so nice to have some sort of base again. We set about finding an apartment straight away and were viewing places that afternoon! We were even invited to a party by one of our realtors. We felt a bit bad because in the end we went for an apartment that he didn't show us round, but we decided to hit the party anyway, what have we got to lose after all? It turned out to be a nice evening, and we made a couple of friends out of it, including the assistant manager at our new apartment block.

We are now all moved in to our new apartment. It is slightly nicer than our last one and it has a walk in cupboard that most English houses would refer to as a spare bedroom. We are starting to see winter lift here in Austin. It seemed to last about a week, and it was surprisingly cold. When I say we are all moved in, it took us about 15 minutes to transport all of our stuff out of the van and into the apartment. We have a sofa - reclining sofa! We went out and chose our Christmas tree. We were obviously a little late - we went to a farm to choose and cut our own and strided meaningfully towards the trees. We looked around and could find nothing decent to chop, so went for a precut one instead. It's still lovely though! Had we gone on the weekend, the tree farm not only does mulled cider and cookies, but serves up BBQ as well. Brilliant!

Right across the road from our apartment is a place called Torchy's Tacos. Holy fuck. Incredible tacos. Big, cheap and creative - I had a jerk chicken taco with mango and it left me with a tear in my eye. We also made it out on the town in our local area. I had deep fried devilled eggs and that was just sublime. We went to various different establishments and enjoyed each one and ended in a pizza joint. We were rather sozzled by this point but luck was on our side. There was no line to be seated, which we realised moments later was something of an anomaly. We sat at the bar and had one of the best pizzas I've had for a while. Luckily our new apartment block has a little fitness center in it, otherwise I'm going to roll out of this state.

Now we just look for jobs. We're applying, but no bites yet. Hopefully this city will treat us well, it has so far.

Piccies!

Carlsbad Caverns
Road To Texas
Moving to Austin

Keep on truckin!

So, I tried to write my blog as I went along and it was what they call in today's youthful, fancy lingo, an epic fail. The chronology was all wrong. I completely forgot to write about the Grand Canyon. So this is going to come in parts. I know you're worried - you're wondering if we made it to Austin safely or not. Allay your fears. We are here, safe and sound, the story is just following along behind. From the beginning, maestro!

Kingman from afar

We experienced a fair bit of kindness in Kingman. Then again, Dave and I are constantly being surprised at how kind people can be. We got a knock on the door of the RV soon after paying our daily rent. The woman who took my card was at the door and had a receipt in her hand. People had apparently not realised our plight and they took pity on us. They have more than halved our daily rent here because we can't move on. Once again, Dave and I stared flabbergasted at each other for a few minutes as we basked in the glow of human empathy. We then went to get our new van checked out at a local mechanics. They checked the
engine over for us, offered us a lift back to the park, and then sent us on our way after the check was complete. As we pulled up to a shop, we noticed our radiator was pissing out coolant, so we hot trotted back to the shop. Turns out it needed a water pump. Cheap on normal cars, but expensive in labor as you need to remove the interior doghouse. They let us order a replacement seat belt retractor on their computer to avoid the surcharge of them ordering it for us. It's the small things that make a difference and I hope that we can pass on the good karma.

In the end, the van needed a few repairs. The seat belt ended up taking longer than we expected to arrive, so we found an old seat belt at a scrap yard (giant dead car playground). We set about trying to get the bastard seat belt out, but as you can imagine, those little belts we take so much for granted are bolted to the side like a mammas boy to his mother's leg. We tried with brute force and an alan key. Nope. We came back with the right tools lent to us by the garage. We managed to get the top bolt off and strip the bottom one making it useless. We did one more round of the vans and found another with the seat belt we needed. We could hardly get to the seat belt, let alone get it out. In the end, more pity was taken on us and they broke their policy of not helping the customer. The name, after all, was U Pick Apart. Within seconds he had gotten the seat belt off that we thought we had totally stripped. Instead of the $90 we were to spend on a new one, we got this one for $12 - a bargain if ever I saw one.

We finally left Kingman after Thanksgiving - we had epic turkey sandwiches, roast potatoes and mashed
maple sweet potato- mmmmmm. Enough of food, back to the story! We made our way to Flagstaff so we could get to the Grand Canyon early the next day. This area of Arizona is totally different with very cold weather and lots of evergreen trees. Once rested, we made our merry way to the Grand Canyon. We drove through a lot of fog to get there and didn't even consider the possibility of something as big as the Grand Canyon being hidden. We decided on what hiking trail we were going to take now that we know 'strenuous' means a relatively brutal challenge in national park language. The whole rim of the Grand Canyon was shrouded in fog. The canyon itself looked like a giant bowl of overflowing dried ice. It wasn't quite the epic scene we were preparing ourselves for, but we thought what the hell, we're here and we might as well go for a long overdue hike. It was a good hike and we were greatly rewarded for our efforts. It turns out,

that day, the view was reserved for the people who could be bothered to make the hike. As we rounded a corner to the spot we decided to turn around, the canyon unfolded below us. It was an amazing and slightly unnerving sensation - the vast space below which was capped above our heads by a giant, foggy plug. I do wish I had seen the Grand Canyon in all its glory, but this made me feel special. It made me feel like the view was reserved for the determined. One day I want to go back and do a few day hike across the Grand Canyon - there is no way to appreciate it by standing and looking over the edge. Not properly, anyway.

I know I said I wouldn't write again until Austin, but I forgot that we are pretty much just continuing on our travels in the van. We're not going everywhere we wanted as we need to make sure we have money to set up with in Austin. But we are making sure we stop in at anywhere cool along the way. Where we are does not count. We are currently in Winslow, Arizona. This is a stop between the Grand Canyon and Sante Fe, NM. We ended up here because of an Eagles song in which the town is quoted. There is little else here, although apparently there is a cool little place we were too scared to go into last night. From the outside it looked run down and very local, being practically empty to boot. We went to a little diner next door and had a mediocre dinner. We looked up reviews of the place we were too scared to walk into and it turns out we missed a little gem. I'm trying to get over this self consciousness, and if there were ever a place to do it, it's America. We only stayed the night and on our way out saw a sign stating exactly how exciting Winslow was - the town's nicest restaurant had written, in big letters, "Come and watch the trains go by!"

On the way we decided to stop off at the Petrified Forest National Park. We are partially trying to hit all the national parks to make our yearly pass value for money, but also because we love national parks. I was dubious about going to a petrified forest after my experience with my parents which included a very underwhelming clump of logs. I swore I'd never go to a petrified forest again. But it was so close and it was free. And you know what, it was actually quite beautiful. Despite the fog that limited the view, it was a great drive. I wouldn't do it again, but it was vaguely worth the 40 mile detour...

After that we made our way to Santa Fe. My parents have been telling me about this place since they visited a few years ago, so I had to make my up. The drive there was as foggy as the Grand Canyon, and we could tell we were missing some pretty intense scenery. Finally the fog started to clear and the red, jutting mesas and rocks were a new and striking backdrop for us. Santa Fe itself uses this red clay for its buildings, making it a beautiful town, and the capitol of New Mexico. It also boasts being the cultural capitol of New Mexico. Many of the buildings are done in traditional adobe style along with a traditional European cathedral (a bit smaller than English ones, and that's not something I get to say about America often). We were going to stay for two nights, but after having a delicious dinner at the local watering hole and having a great Southwestern breakfast of Huevos Rancheros, we decided to hit the road again. Santa Fe was lovely, but if I stayed any longer I was going to eat my way through our savings! Somehow we ended up taking no pictures here, which is a real shame. You'll just have to trust me that it is a picturesque city.

Dave and I have been trying our hand at bartering recently. We have haggled over our room prices and have been taking a stand when prices don't meet our expectations. We have been successful every time and hopefully as we get better at it the prices will come down. We are in Roswell now and haggled over our motel room price. I'm beginning to discover that most motel rooms are the same, just with different grades of neglect. The road into Roswell was long and boring. We had been waiting the whole trip for a strip of road like it only to find out that once you are over the sheer space, it's just monotonous. We were fairly high up (6,000 - 7,000 ft) and the wind whips the tall sides of the van, meaning you can't even sit back and relax. Instead you're gripping the steering wheel trying to hold her in one lane and hoping the slip streams created by trucks barrelling along doesn't slip you underneath them.

Roswell wasn't quite the hick town I was expecting. We drove through a lot of podunk towns and it left both Dave and I wondering what these people do. There are no shops, no bars, just a few houses stuck in the middle of nowhere. But of course, these people are ranchers and I'm sure they are rarely bored. It took us a while to realise this but once we did we more envied their purpose than mocked their boredom. Roswell

appears less country focused and more geared towards commerce. The UFO museum was great. It was cheaply done, but the attention is to information rather than aesthetics. Many of you know I am a biased here - an ex-boyfriend left me with a fascination for all things outer worldly. I thought it was great despite knowing a lot of the information posted already. The rest of the town is pretty missable apart from the alien shaped street lights. Cool.

More to come...

Piccies!

Kingman, AZ
Grand Canyon, AZ
Winslow & Petrified Forest NP, AZ