The Age of Decision Making

Welcome to the Age of Choice! This is surely a good thing, yes? Or are we now oversaturated with what could be’s? Do we now spend more time deciding what to do rather than actually doing it? I know this can be applied to areas of life across the board, but I’m here mainly to focus on this aspect in the world of jobs and careers. In fact, this is the first choice. Job or career? Do I focus on my life or on my work? I know America is hot for careers - it is after all the epitome of the American Dream. But we have reached a stage in the evolution of America where the career is something that everyone expects, especially if you have been to university. Simple rules show how this is entirely unsupportable, and yet you still have people telling you that if you just work hard enough, it will happen. While this is true to a certain extent, luck has an awful lot to do with it. You just happen to choose the right field to go into, or your mum’s friend just started this new online magazine and they are looking for people to help them out. There are so many chance meetings and chance happenings that lead to people’s careers. I believe the line was:

“what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either –

your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s” (Mary Schmich)

But then, while American professionals are telling you that you need to be all you can be, to go out and grab that 6 figure salary by the balls, movies are telling you there is more to life. Go out and live! Experience what the world has to offer! Become a well-rounded, well travelled person. This has been my approach. I figured that with a wealth of ‘life experience’ people would be eager to hire me because I could bring something different to the table. Nope. Turns out a lot of people go off traveling, and people these days don’t really care. It’s not seen as soul searching anymore, just putting off the inevitable. Arguably, the latter is a more apt description. While I knew I wanted to go traveling, it wasn't to improve my resume, it wasn't really even to improve myself either. It was purely selfish and was just something I wanted to experience. It seems out here almost all travel/charity/volunteer/life happens as a byline for the resume. Workers are looking for well rounded employees which obviously means people who are willing to do stuff they don’t want to do. High schoolers join and lead all manner of clubs to set themselves apart from the next student applying to colleges.

Even traveling was a challenge of choice. Which country do we start in? Which country do we end in? Do we work? Once you’re finally there and backpacking you have to choose which destinations you don’t want to miss, which you have to miss and which you can actually get to. While I would have thought that this kind of fending for yourself, making split second decisions with little to no information, would have been a quality that a lot of employers would look for - you know, life skills - it would appear most employers are kind of in the dark about the skills needed for that kind of endeavor. But all employers are looking for the same, bland, fully experienced automaton. I’m trying to make the crossover from the service industry into something more, well I don’t know more what yet. I’m not going to lie, I would like to work as little as possible for the most reward. I know America likes to make me feel guilty for this. ‘But we give you the land of opportunity, how can you squander it?’ Easy. I’m not squandering it. The American Dream is a personal thing - for some it means money. For me, it means happiness. That being said, you do want to find a job that you don’t hate. This usually comes down to the people you work with. I’m job searching at the moment and it would appear that the old fogeys are being pushed to the wayside. Entrepreneurs are getting younger and this is reflected in the companies that are popping up. Austin recently published the best places to work in Austin. I was going to use this as a guide for places to apply to. I wanted somewhere with good growth opportunities, something that is making a difference. With the dawn of the app, every person with a 

niche idea and computer savvy has made it to the forever sought after 6 figure salary before they hit 25. Their employment ads speak of the fully stocked bar and snack cupboard; the awesomely raucous staff parties; all the staff getting around the building on little toy cars. While all of this sounds great, I can’t help but feel it’s all a popularity contest. They always want ‘superstars’ on their team. What about people like myself? So few companies are actually willing to go out on a limb for someone who isn’t qualified, but intelligent and eager. I know I’d be an asset to a company, but they rarely ask the right questions. And I don’t mean the right questions are ‘what kind of ice cream do you identify with,’ which the employer somehow thinks is going to make them appear quirky. The question has the right sentiment, just not the right execution. I think a combination of interview and trial shift is the way forward for both. A team works better if they can actually work as a team. It takes a couple of days for someone to get comfortable in their environment. The person you see in interview is not the person you will see in a month. It’s like a relationship - you hide your crazy until you know they won’t walk away. While trial shifts don’t account for this potential, you at least get to see if they seem like the type.

Oh, the fun of looking for work. But at least now, I have found a job. A job that ticks all the boxes; huge potential for growth, helping people, animal related. Brilliant. But then starts the panic of ‘what if I have made the wrong choice?’ And you know what? Fuck you, choice. There is no greener pasture, just a different kind of grass.

Malcontent

It feels like everyone these days is telling me what I should be. I don’t mean this as a direct sort of telling, more overt subliminal messaging. I do appreciate the contradiction of this, but it seems more an apt example of the time. We are getting to a point where there are so many choices of what to do, what ‘dream’ you want to follow. It doesn’t seem to suffice anymore to just live life - whatever that means to you. Life is such a subjective thing, and yet it’s marketed as this thing that we can buy. You can purchase the complete package with the right education, the right resume, the right job, the right choices and the right outcome. No one seems interested in the fact that life just isn’t that prescribed. Things get in the way of choices, not to mention the fact that we all make bad ones. We’re meant to be well-rounded human beings. But whose description of well rounded? Just because I’m intelligent means I shouldn’t work a blue collar job. You just haven’t ‘made it yet’ if you’re just content working a job that pays enough money to feed the family and enjoy a few little luxuries. By luxuries I do not mean an extra house on the lake or a pet tiger. Little luxuries should be things like a lovely dinner, or a day at the beach with friends. Aren’t these things that we should aspire to? But now we’re being told that you can have extravagant luxuries, and you don’t even need to do that much to get them - be in the right place at the right time, marry into it, be born into it. Not only can you have them, but you should have them. This is the scary thing that people are aspiring to. Having everything and putting in nothing. And this society tells us it is possible. You also have people that work their nails to the bone for little reward.

The western world is quite simply starting to demand too much. Be happy with what you have, but make sure you’re always striving for more. Work hard at a career and make enough money to live in luxury, but always make sure you have enough time for your family. Be nice and kind to your fellow man, but make sure they don’t stand in the way of your success. And once you achieve all of this, there is someone on facebook who is doing it better. No matter what life you lead, no matter what path you choose, someone is desperately trying to make sure they look like they do it better. This is a symptom of our modern age, and one that scares me. Where can it go from here? Why is it not enough to be happy in my own right? Media has a large hand in this, but we can’t forgo our own responsibility altogether. They merely manipulated a weak spot that already existed, and we weren’t strong enough or smart enough to see what was happening. Over the last few years we have started to identify ourselves by our internet presence. We function almost purely through perception on the internet, and that perception can be altered with a little manicure. Somewhere along the line we got it into our heads that most people are better off than ourselves, regardless of our personal achievement. Our actual selves are becoming even more intangible, something defined by a bunch of codes floating through the ether. How on earth are we meant to ‘find ourselves’ when our personalities are not something within us, but something we manufacture? We are consistently pushing that sense of self to be defined by the realms of others, although this is not a new phenomenon.

I have a loving boyfriend, an incredible family and a personal history that is enviable by most. Yet I still look through facebook and wonder what I’m doing wrong. I can’t seem to pull myself into the present. I’m stuck loitering over the past and worrying about the future. It is a big cliche, but perhaps known that way to take the wind out of its sails, to debunk it as an out of date notion; Live for the moment. Perhaps this statement has fallen into the book of cliche because people realise how little they do it. They see people who do and they are known as irresponsible, head in the clouds, unrealistic, sponges of society. This seems to cover up a longing - an overarching jealousy of the lifestyle. Media’s rhetoric really can have a big impact in this, and we have seen plenty of films which have this free spirit character as support. When in the lead, it is simply serendipitous events that lead to success. They fail to mention that most of people’s success has at least a small thank you to say to serendipity. As a society we very much live in the now. The future is too scary a thing to contemplate in its entirety, and yet again we miss the point. We must much more concentrate on the future of our civilisation, and the now of ourselves. While this may sound like a contradiction, there are many other areas of life which are contrary and we ask no questions.

There was only a small time in my adult life where I didn’t feel inadequate in some way. It was a time when I thought purely of myself and very little of the past or the future. I used to walk down the street and look at people and think ‘God, I’m glad I’m not them. I’m glad I’m me, and gosh I wish they knew what I did last night so they know how much they’re missing out on.’ In less than 10 years I’ve flipped the coin and now look at almost everyone with an eye of envy. “I bet they’re going home to the most amazing house, and that it’s filled with friends and family, and they’re dinner is going to be joyous and everyone there will enjoy every minute of it. And then they’ll go to a job they love, where there earn exactly what they feel they deserve, and the job is one that leaves them feeling whole at the end of the day. I bet they do something that matters, and I bet they holiday in Brazil with lots of friends who all think that they’re amazing. I bet they do really interesting things on the weekend, and help orphan children in their spare time.” And you know what? This time coincided with the days before I used Facebook, refused to jump on the bandwagon. This is no coincidence, and it’s making everyone unhappy with their lot in life.

It’s about time we sat down and re-evaluated things. Stopped pushing everyone to be the best they can be, and make sure they’re happy while they’re doing it. It still comes down to the little things making people happy. Like going for a walk with a partner and being silly. Or having the perfect bath. Or realising, as you’re sat on the couch, that you’re sitting next to the love of your life, even if you are only watching shitty TV together. Striving isn’t the recipe for success. Working hard isn’t the recipe for success. Any recipe that has one ingredient is going to turn out a bit shit, so why do we think it’s applicable to our lives? We’re forced to judge ourselves by other people’s standards and we’re surprised when those standards don’t make us happy. It is natural to have a crap day, or a crappy year, and it happens to everyone.

Aspirations are becoming homogenized, and everyone is scrabbling to avoid the same epitomes of failure. Do you want to live in a trailer for the rest of your life? Why the fuck not? Does it have 4 walls? Does it keep the elements out? Running water? Well, you’re doing pretty fucking well, mate. A common threat used in school was “you’ll end up pumping gas for a living if you don’t try harder.” And what? Do I have friends? Do I have food? Great, I’m sorted. We’ve been taught to be discontented. We shall never be happy because there will always be more, and even if there isn’t more to be had, that ‘more’ will be fabricated. The eternal carrot, always just out of reach. And I say all of this, but I don’t want to pump gas for a living. I want a job that satisfies me, I want all of these things that are being sold to me even though I hate what it stands for. Perhaps it is the human condition to feel constantly inadequate and we merely find new and creative ways to perpetuate it. It is probably what got us where we are today, for better or worse.

I wish I could wrap this diatribe up with something succinct, some concrete idea or solution. Unfortunately I'm still muddling through all of these ideas and I think the conclusion shall only make itself apparent when I no longer need an answer. Until then, I muddle on.