The Age of Decision Making

Welcome to the Age of Choice! This is surely a good thing, yes? Or are we now oversaturated with what could be’s? Do we now spend more time deciding what to do rather than actually doing it? I know this can be applied to areas of life across the board, but I’m here mainly to focus on this aspect in the world of jobs and careers. In fact, this is the first choice. Job or career? Do I focus on my life or on my work? I know America is hot for careers - it is after all the epitome of the American Dream. But we have reached a stage in the evolution of America where the career is something that everyone expects, especially if you have been to university. Simple rules show how this is entirely unsupportable, and yet you still have people telling you that if you just work hard enough, it will happen. While this is true to a certain extent, luck has an awful lot to do with it. You just happen to choose the right field to go into, or your mum’s friend just started this new online magazine and they are looking for people to help them out. There are so many chance meetings and chance happenings that lead to people’s careers. I believe the line was:

“what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either –

your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s” (Mary Schmich)

But then, while American professionals are telling you that you need to be all you can be, to go out and grab that 6 figure salary by the balls, movies are telling you there is more to life. Go out and live! Experience what the world has to offer! Become a well-rounded, well travelled person. This has been my approach. I figured that with a wealth of ‘life experience’ people would be eager to hire me because I could bring something different to the table. Nope. Turns out a lot of people go off traveling, and people these days don’t really care. It’s not seen as soul searching anymore, just putting off the inevitable. Arguably, the latter is a more apt description. While I knew I wanted to go traveling, it wasn't to improve my resume, it wasn't really even to improve myself either. It was purely selfish and was just something I wanted to experience. It seems out here almost all travel/charity/volunteer/life happens as a byline for the resume. Workers are looking for well rounded employees which obviously means people who are willing to do stuff they don’t want to do. High schoolers join and lead all manner of clubs to set themselves apart from the next student applying to colleges.

Even traveling was a challenge of choice. Which country do we start in? Which country do we end in? Do we work? Once you’re finally there and backpacking you have to choose which destinations you don’t want to miss, which you have to miss and which you can actually get to. While I would have thought that this kind of fending for yourself, making split second decisions with little to no information, would have been a quality that a lot of employers would look for - you know, life skills - it would appear most employers are kind of in the dark about the skills needed for that kind of endeavor. But all employers are looking for the same, bland, fully experienced automaton. I’m trying to make the crossover from the service industry into something more, well I don’t know more what yet. I’m not going to lie, I would like to work as little as possible for the most reward. I know America likes to make me feel guilty for this. ‘But we give you the land of opportunity, how can you squander it?’ Easy. I’m not squandering it. The American Dream is a personal thing - for some it means money. For me, it means happiness. That being said, you do want to find a job that you don’t hate. This usually comes down to the people you work with. I’m job searching at the moment and it would appear that the old fogeys are being pushed to the wayside. Entrepreneurs are getting younger and this is reflected in the companies that are popping up. Austin recently published the best places to work in Austin. I was going to use this as a guide for places to apply to. I wanted somewhere with good growth opportunities, something that is making a difference. With the dawn of the app, every person with a 

niche idea and computer savvy has made it to the forever sought after 6 figure salary before they hit 25. Their employment ads speak of the fully stocked bar and snack cupboard; the awesomely raucous staff parties; all the staff getting around the building on little toy cars. While all of this sounds great, I can’t help but feel it’s all a popularity contest. They always want ‘superstars’ on their team. What about people like myself? So few companies are actually willing to go out on a limb for someone who isn’t qualified, but intelligent and eager. I know I’d be an asset to a company, but they rarely ask the right questions. And I don’t mean the right questions are ‘what kind of ice cream do you identify with,’ which the employer somehow thinks is going to make them appear quirky. The question has the right sentiment, just not the right execution. I think a combination of interview and trial shift is the way forward for both. A team works better if they can actually work as a team. It takes a couple of days for someone to get comfortable in their environment. The person you see in interview is not the person you will see in a month. It’s like a relationship - you hide your crazy until you know they won’t walk away. While trial shifts don’t account for this potential, you at least get to see if they seem like the type.

Oh, the fun of looking for work. But at least now, I have found a job. A job that ticks all the boxes; huge potential for growth, helping people, animal related. Brilliant. But then starts the panic of ‘what if I have made the wrong choice?’ And you know what? Fuck you, choice. There is no greener pasture, just a different kind of grass.

Malcontent

It feels like everyone these days is telling me what I should be. I don’t mean this as a direct sort of telling, more overt subliminal messaging. I do appreciate the contradiction of this, but it seems more an apt example of the time. We are getting to a point where there are so many choices of what to do, what ‘dream’ you want to follow. It doesn’t seem to suffice anymore to just live life - whatever that means to you. Life is such a subjective thing, and yet it’s marketed as this thing that we can buy. You can purchase the complete package with the right education, the right resume, the right job, the right choices and the right outcome. No one seems interested in the fact that life just isn’t that prescribed. Things get in the way of choices, not to mention the fact that we all make bad ones. We’re meant to be well-rounded human beings. But whose description of well rounded? Just because I’m intelligent means I shouldn’t work a blue collar job. You just haven’t ‘made it yet’ if you’re just content working a job that pays enough money to feed the family and enjoy a few little luxuries. By luxuries I do not mean an extra house on the lake or a pet tiger. Little luxuries should be things like a lovely dinner, or a day at the beach with friends. Aren’t these things that we should aspire to? But now we’re being told that you can have extravagant luxuries, and you don’t even need to do that much to get them - be in the right place at the right time, marry into it, be born into it. Not only can you have them, but you should have them. This is the scary thing that people are aspiring to. Having everything and putting in nothing. And this society tells us it is possible. You also have people that work their nails to the bone for little reward.

The western world is quite simply starting to demand too much. Be happy with what you have, but make sure you’re always striving for more. Work hard at a career and make enough money to live in luxury, but always make sure you have enough time for your family. Be nice and kind to your fellow man, but make sure they don’t stand in the way of your success. And once you achieve all of this, there is someone on facebook who is doing it better. No matter what life you lead, no matter what path you choose, someone is desperately trying to make sure they look like they do it better. This is a symptom of our modern age, and one that scares me. Where can it go from here? Why is it not enough to be happy in my own right? Media has a large hand in this, but we can’t forgo our own responsibility altogether. They merely manipulated a weak spot that already existed, and we weren’t strong enough or smart enough to see what was happening. Over the last few years we have started to identify ourselves by our internet presence. We function almost purely through perception on the internet, and that perception can be altered with a little manicure. Somewhere along the line we got it into our heads that most people are better off than ourselves, regardless of our personal achievement. Our actual selves are becoming even more intangible, something defined by a bunch of codes floating through the ether. How on earth are we meant to ‘find ourselves’ when our personalities are not something within us, but something we manufacture? We are consistently pushing that sense of self to be defined by the realms of others, although this is not a new phenomenon.

I have a loving boyfriend, an incredible family and a personal history that is enviable by most. Yet I still look through facebook and wonder what I’m doing wrong. I can’t seem to pull myself into the present. I’m stuck loitering over the past and worrying about the future. It is a big cliche, but perhaps known that way to take the wind out of its sails, to debunk it as an out of date notion; Live for the moment. Perhaps this statement has fallen into the book of cliche because people realise how little they do it. They see people who do and they are known as irresponsible, head in the clouds, unrealistic, sponges of society. This seems to cover up a longing - an overarching jealousy of the lifestyle. Media’s rhetoric really can have a big impact in this, and we have seen plenty of films which have this free spirit character as support. When in the lead, it is simply serendipitous events that lead to success. They fail to mention that most of people’s success has at least a small thank you to say to serendipity. As a society we very much live in the now. The future is too scary a thing to contemplate in its entirety, and yet again we miss the point. We must much more concentrate on the future of our civilisation, and the now of ourselves. While this may sound like a contradiction, there are many other areas of life which are contrary and we ask no questions.

There was only a small time in my adult life where I didn’t feel inadequate in some way. It was a time when I thought purely of myself and very little of the past or the future. I used to walk down the street and look at people and think ‘God, I’m glad I’m not them. I’m glad I’m me, and gosh I wish they knew what I did last night so they know how much they’re missing out on.’ In less than 10 years I’ve flipped the coin and now look at almost everyone with an eye of envy. “I bet they’re going home to the most amazing house, and that it’s filled with friends and family, and they’re dinner is going to be joyous and everyone there will enjoy every minute of it. And then they’ll go to a job they love, where there earn exactly what they feel they deserve, and the job is one that leaves them feeling whole at the end of the day. I bet they do something that matters, and I bet they holiday in Brazil with lots of friends who all think that they’re amazing. I bet they do really interesting things on the weekend, and help orphan children in their spare time.” And you know what? This time coincided with the days before I used Facebook, refused to jump on the bandwagon. This is no coincidence, and it’s making everyone unhappy with their lot in life.

It’s about time we sat down and re-evaluated things. Stopped pushing everyone to be the best they can be, and make sure they’re happy while they’re doing it. It still comes down to the little things making people happy. Like going for a walk with a partner and being silly. Or having the perfect bath. Or realising, as you’re sat on the couch, that you’re sitting next to the love of your life, even if you are only watching shitty TV together. Striving isn’t the recipe for success. Working hard isn’t the recipe for success. Any recipe that has one ingredient is going to turn out a bit shit, so why do we think it’s applicable to our lives? We’re forced to judge ourselves by other people’s standards and we’re surprised when those standards don’t make us happy. It is natural to have a crap day, or a crappy year, and it happens to everyone.

Aspirations are becoming homogenized, and everyone is scrabbling to avoid the same epitomes of failure. Do you want to live in a trailer for the rest of your life? Why the fuck not? Does it have 4 walls? Does it keep the elements out? Running water? Well, you’re doing pretty fucking well, mate. A common threat used in school was “you’ll end up pumping gas for a living if you don’t try harder.” And what? Do I have friends? Do I have food? Great, I’m sorted. We’ve been taught to be discontented. We shall never be happy because there will always be more, and even if there isn’t more to be had, that ‘more’ will be fabricated. The eternal carrot, always just out of reach. And I say all of this, but I don’t want to pump gas for a living. I want a job that satisfies me, I want all of these things that are being sold to me even though I hate what it stands for. Perhaps it is the human condition to feel constantly inadequate and we merely find new and creative ways to perpetuate it. It is probably what got us where we are today, for better or worse.

I wish I could wrap this diatribe up with something succinct, some concrete idea or solution. Unfortunately I'm still muddling through all of these ideas and I think the conclusion shall only make itself apparent when I no longer need an answer. Until then, I muddle on.

Our Little Family

So we have now been in Austin nearly 2 months. I am, however, still unemployed. Dave has dabbled in a few different positions; mover, line cook and now prep chef. He's working for a company that prepares and delivers veggie boxes, which results in Dave getting to take home excess. I have been holding out for one job in particular for which I have already had 3 interviews, plus given a presentation. It started by them sending me a questionnaire loaded with quirky questions, then 2 phone interviews, followed by 2 hours of interview, presentation and skill tests. I have one more interview, next week, and this I am told is the final step. I'm admittedly getting impatient with the process as I applied for this position within a couple of weeks of arriving in Austin. But they seem like a cool company and I'm hoping my patience is rewarded.

In the meantime much more interesting things have happened. Dave and I went out with a couple of mates and had a great time. We went to our first live, free Austin gig. We found an amazing pizza place set up on a farm and next to a brewery, complete with stage and wooden dance floor ready for the texas two step. We

found some of the best swimming holes in Austin. This was a surprise to both of us. I knew that there were springs all the way through Austin that are protected as the Austin Greenbelt, which is great (although as we can see in England, the greenbelt will eventually make way for urban development). This city has so much to offer, and now that we are down to our last pennies we are denying ourselves the greatest pleasures until we can do so guiltlessly. The picture to the right was taken on one of the highest points in Austin, hence being called Hill Country. There was a woman walking in front of us, up the stairs to the top of this hill. She was decked out in gym wear - not the type you would expect to hear complaining about the 20 steps we had to surmount to get to the top of this hill. I have never heard anyone complain so much about a menial amount of exercise. At least the really fat guy behind us just kept quiet and panted - and fair play to him as he obviously had more dignity than the high maintenance woman in front. Anyway, I shall kick my pedestal aside.

There was one thing we could no longer wait for though. It's something we have been talking about since we arrived in the states. We had always decided against it as our logic always won. But this is the first sign of  growing up for me. We got a cat. A beautiful, loving, playful little guy called Chester. We went to one of the many rescue centers around Austin and nervously walked in. We were both scared - taking on another life is not something Dave or I take lightly. This little bundle will be our responsibility for a long time. Not just his health, but his happiness and comfort. We had arrived on the day that they had started rehoming pets again after a particularly bad virus strain had hit the cattery. It was a sign. We went through lots of cats, and nearly didn't see our man at all. He was in a cage all his own and hadn't been pointed out by the staff. We instantly had a rapport with him. We were told he was 2, but found out later that he 5 or 6.





He was instantly at home with us. He had a look around the flat and then settled down to watch TV with us. Within minutes he was on my lap, purring contentedly. He's cuddly, but also playful. He gets in little moods if he doesn't get his way or if he's made to remove himself from a lap. He is an indoor only kitty - we were told he has FIV, which is a feline version of HIV. He should lead a full, healthy life as long as he doesn't pick up infections or viruses from other cats. I couldn't help but think of him in some alley with other alley cats, needles falling out of his paws as he sat in an opium induced ecstasy. But anyway, that's the crazy cat lady in me.

It has occurred to me that this cat is going to be around for all the next big things in my life. Getting married, having kids, perhaps taking up a space in a trailer with us! While many of my friends are already a few steps further up of the ladder of life, this is my first step onto the rung of responsibility. And you know, this will do for now. Actually, this will do for a while!

I promise to make my next post a little more interesting to other people. I'm working on a piece that's trying to get certain thoughts out of my head. America is a confusing place, and I feel I am particularly vulnerable to a particular kind of confusion. However, the more I read, the more I find out I'm not alone. So my next post will be a little more, or well, a little less...actually, just wait and see.

But in the meantime, I think one more picture of Chester is necessary to push it into the realm of a truly annoying cat post.

Keeping it weird

Trail of Lights

After speaking with my Dad, I realized there was an important part of our travels that I missed out. How, I don't know as it was more than a little amusing. While we were in Kingman we thought we were going to be able to tow the rig over to a dump station as our site didn't have full hook ups. We used the toilet on occasion because of this. It soon dawned on us that this was not going to happen, but we had to empty it out! We chose our day wisely - Thanksgiving, when all the staff were off. We were pretty sure we'd be told off for what we were planning. We found a site close enough to us that was empty and had full hook ups. The job was to slowly empty the black water tank into a bucket, carry it over to the vacuum hose sized hole and pour. As Dave's constitution isn't as strong as mine in matters such as this, I volunteered to do most of it. To be fair, it mostly my, um, product, that we were trying to get rid of. So I started carrying very full, very stinky buckets full of piss and shit over to the hole and chucking it down. While I'm doing this, a gentleman who has hired a cabin starts to come in and out tending his BBQing turkey. He catches me mid-dump - there was very little doubt over what I was doing. Our eyes catch, I look away and hurriedly finish the bucket. From that point on I had to coordinate my bucket dumps with his retreat back into the cabin. In the end, the tank took about 30 bucket loads to empty. Dave finished it off once my arms started to get tired. Mission successful albeit shitty.

Now, back to the present...

We are now beginning to get familiar with Austin. We have been on a bar crawl down South Congress where we had amazing pizza from Home Slice. Before this amazingly drunken pizza experience, we went to a fried chicken place called Lucy's. We decided the chicken was too expensive, but tried their fried deviled eggs. Incredible. More than incredible, I nearly cried. Anyone who comes to visit will be dragged along to Lucy's to try these heart stopping treats.

Don't get me wrong - we're still not employed. I've had an interview, which went well but they decided to promote from within. I was told I made it a very difficult choice, which provides some solace, but not as much as a job would have. Dave is being thrown offers left and right, but we're trying to find jobs that will make us happy as well as put food on the table. So, Dave is now currently waiting to hear back about a job as a driver for a moving company. I've got a couple things in the pipeline, but moving over from the service industry into anything else is a challenge. It is one I'll win though, by hook or by crook!

We tried to get some proper Austin BBQ. We looked up the reviews, made our decision and headed out only to find the bloody place was shut. Just down the road was a BBQ fast food joint - I'm still tickled that you can get drive-thru BBQ! It was infinitely better than anything you get in the UK, but I'm pretty sure it's scraping the barrel around these parts.

Christmas came and went in a very drunken style. We decided last year that bloody marys upon waking is a fairly sound tradition to start, so we kept it up. It was a fun day of trying to feed the meowing cat on the balcony above ours by throwing treats at it, drinking, cooking and I don't remember quite what else...

New Years was much of the same. New Years to me is an occasion to celebrate with good friends. As we don't have any of those here yet, we made do with each other and headed down to the local bar. We ended up chatting to some people and nearly went on to another party with them. We were then informed that the woman driving didn't want to take us, so we left a bit dejected. We went home, had a quick chinwag with the neighbours below us and went about our drunk business. It was the fireworks going off that alerted us to the dawn of the New Year.

We finally sold the RV. We took a bit of a hit on it, but it feels good to have that over and done with. It was a sad moment when we realized we would never see Damon again. We loved that vehicle like a family member, despite only a brief encounter. I guess sometimes that all it takes. It shared an important part of our history, so thank you Damon. We forgive you.

So far we like Austin. Apart from not having jobs, which makes things a little stressful, everything else is going well. We have an obnoxious neighbour above us who likes to turn her music on between 12 & 3 AM, and that is our biggest complaint. People have been more friendly here than in Seattle, and I have a feeling we will have a much different experience here. It'll be harder to save money as there is always something to
go out and do. Austin has something like 140 people moving to it every day. A lot of locals are getting pissed off at this mass migration, but there is very little they can do to stop it. The place is drowning in hipsters, admittedly. But hipsters never hurt anyone. If anything they provide an infinite amount of comedy as they constantly parody themselves without realizing the irony with which they do things ironically. Oh hipsters, how I love to hate thee.

The Perfect Grilled Cheese Recipe

Now I really hate all of these food porn websites, so I'm going to stick my little blurb after the recipe. Before the recipe, all you need to know, is this is the best grilled cheese I have ever made. Ever.

Large white loaf

1 small white onion

3 cloves garlic

3 - 4 tbsp butter

6 strips bacon

2 big spoons mayonnaise

3 sun dried tomato halves

dried basil

fontina cheese

1 avocado

Combine sun dried tomato, mayo, pepper and 1 clove minced garlic with blender

Slowly fry or grill bacon (important for getting it crispy but not burnt)

Fry onion in bacon fat with dried basil added towards the end

Mix butter (amount depends on how soon you want your heart attack), some bacon fat and remaining garlic

Spread butter mix on outward facing side of sliced bread

Cook low and slow 

Layers are as thus: mayo on both sides, cheese, onion, bacon, avocado, bacon, cheese, lid. Butter lid.

Fuck yeah. Eat.

Read on if you care to, if not, it will not interrupt the enjoyment of this sandwich in any way.

So, I hate having to scroll through lots of self indulgent blurb about the food people are making. But it's not just the blurb, it's the glut of pictures throughout the recipe. The pictures aren't even in the recipe, or really to help you with the recipe. It's so the author can look at it and think 'wow, doesn't that look professional?' But no, it doesn't. It just looks like everyone elses. Turns out most people can take a fairly appetising picture of food as long as you can create some soft background and fade effect. The pictures very rarely help to clarify the instructions, although it does look like they should. 

My own personal feelings on this sandwich are clear. It left me with a tear in my eye. I wanted to give everyone in the world a bite so they could experience the sheer joy of this decadent beast.

Aren't you glad you didn't have to scroll past all this to get to the recipe? Aren't you glad I didn't choose to inflict myself on you unless you chose that punishment? Take stock, people.

Served with a big helping of get over yourselves. 

An Austin Style Welcome

While Roswell was not everything I hoped it would be, the next stop surpassed my expectation. Again, we were mainly trying to get our money's worth out of our annual national park pass, so we stopped at Carlsbad Caverns. We didn't do anything around the park, just went straight to the caverns. The place was pretty empty as it was a weekday and it was cold. But wow! The caves were beautiful and huge - the main room could hold an airbus, or so I was told. It is spectacular and I had an eerie sense of being at home. I can't explain it, but every part of me wanted to play house. I was transported back to the times when you don't see a huge cardboard box, you see a multi-story home. You don't see a living room, you see a fort waiting to happen. I wanted to run all over this cavern and dub one space the bedroom, and the next a kitchen. My brain was spinning over with all the possibilities awaiting throughout the cavern. I haven't had an urge like that to 'play' for as long as I can remember, and it's a feeling I intend to hold on to for as long as possible. Pure, unadulterated joy. It took us nearly 2 hours to walk the whole thing, and I was very thankful for the elevator at the end!

We continued on to Van Horne - a town that looks like it has evolved out of a truck stop. It is simply a strip of mediocre diners and motels, with one more upscale hotel for those wanting more plush surrounds. We, of course, stayed in a crappy but serviceable motel. I wish I could say more about this little stopover, but that is all it was really, a stopover. We were up early the next day and our way.

We wanted to stop in a place called Marfa. When we first decided we were going to do a roadtrip, we were asking random people where they would stop. The first guy we asked this told us about Marfa. He was from Texas and had recently moved to Seattle and told us about this weird art installation in the middle of the desert. We felt that it rounded the trip off nicely - the last thing we visit is the first thing we pinned to our

map. It was on a long strip of road and we almost drove past it! We were expecting it to be in the town of Marfa, but it was something  like 50 miles out. It's a Prada shop, complete with shoes and bags, carefully placed in the middle of the desert. You can't go in, just window shop as it were. Apparently the government are trying to take it down because they define it as a billboard, not an art installation. Fingers crossed they don't get their way!

We did want to stop in Marfa, but we had previously decided to do a long haul and just get to Austin. Road Tripping in motels is no where near as fun as in the RV, and every night we stayed in a motel our money was reducing. So we drove through Marfa and have every intention of going back for a weekend. For a place seemingly stuck out in the middle of nowhere, they have carved out quite a community for themselves. I did hear that artists headed out to these parts for a bit of inspiration and to get away from the pace of Austin. There is a university there and some really quirky looking stuff, it really was a shame that we didn't get to stop on the way.

It was a long drive to Austin made worse by our panic about the van. The Texas roads that head through miles of empty space are windy. Damn windy. Our van gets thrown all over the place, and the driver's side wheel randomly thuds against the wheel arch. So we were driving and waiting for a wheel to do flying off. This is rather melodramatic, I know. But let's see how you hold your sanity together when barrelling down the road at 70mph and you start to hear and feel a intermittent sound coming from under the vehicle. Your brain is telling you it's fine while you have to stop your body from finding the door handle and doing a tucked body roll out of the vehicle to the safety of the unthudding ground.

This was not my biggest bite...

We got to Austin in one piece. We found a motel last minute and managed to get them down from $65 to $45 a night. When I got to the room, I could not believe my eyes. How anyone could charge $65 for that room and look them in the eye I will never know. The walls had stains on every one. It looked like someone had stood in the middle on a lazy susan and projectile vomited. It lacked the basic amenities given to us at every other motel (which were half the price). The location was crap. The next day I woke up covered in bed bugs. Well, I didn't realise they were bed bugs until later on in the day when they started to swell up. The worst one, which I still have, swelled up to the size of my palm. Never, ever stay at The Sands Motel in Austin. I have already written a review on yelp, just in case anyone else has the misfortune of even considering this place.

We swiftly moved to a motel that provided kitchenettes and paid a week upfront. It was so nice to have some sort of base again. We set about finding an apartment straight away and were viewing places that afternoon! We were even invited to a party by one of our realtors. We felt a bit bad because in the end we went for an apartment that he didn't show us round, but we decided to hit the party anyway, what have we got to lose after all? It turned out to be a nice evening, and we made a couple of friends out of it, including the assistant manager at our new apartment block.

We are now all moved in to our new apartment. It is slightly nicer than our last one and it has a walk in cupboard that most English houses would refer to as a spare bedroom. We are starting to see winter lift here in Austin. It seemed to last about a week, and it was surprisingly cold. When I say we are all moved in, it took us about 15 minutes to transport all of our stuff out of the van and into the apartment. We have a sofa - reclining sofa! We went out and chose our Christmas tree. We were obviously a little late - we went to a farm to choose and cut our own and strided meaningfully towards the trees. We looked around and could find nothing decent to chop, so went for a precut one instead. It's still lovely though! Had we gone on the weekend, the tree farm not only does mulled cider and cookies, but serves up BBQ as well. Brilliant!

Right across the road from our apartment is a place called Torchy's Tacos. Holy fuck. Incredible tacos. Big, cheap and creative - I had a jerk chicken taco with mango and it left me with a tear in my eye. We also made it out on the town in our local area. I had deep fried devilled eggs and that was just sublime. We went to various different establishments and enjoyed each one and ended in a pizza joint. We were rather sozzled by this point but luck was on our side. There was no line to be seated, which we realised moments later was something of an anomaly. We sat at the bar and had one of the best pizzas I've had for a while. Luckily our new apartment block has a little fitness center in it, otherwise I'm going to roll out of this state.

Now we just look for jobs. We're applying, but no bites yet. Hopefully this city will treat us well, it has so far.

Piccies!

Carlsbad Caverns
Road To Texas
Moving to Austin

Keep on truckin!

So, I tried to write my blog as I went along and it was what they call in today's youthful, fancy lingo, an epic fail. The chronology was all wrong. I completely forgot to write about the Grand Canyon. So this is going to come in parts. I know you're worried - you're wondering if we made it to Austin safely or not. Allay your fears. We are here, safe and sound, the story is just following along behind. From the beginning, maestro!

Kingman from afar

We experienced a fair bit of kindness in Kingman. Then again, Dave and I are constantly being surprised at how kind people can be. We got a knock on the door of the RV soon after paying our daily rent. The woman who took my card was at the door and had a receipt in her hand. People had apparently not realised our plight and they took pity on us. They have more than halved our daily rent here because we can't move on. Once again, Dave and I stared flabbergasted at each other for a few minutes as we basked in the glow of human empathy. We then went to get our new van checked out at a local mechanics. They checked the
engine over for us, offered us a lift back to the park, and then sent us on our way after the check was complete. As we pulled up to a shop, we noticed our radiator was pissing out coolant, so we hot trotted back to the shop. Turns out it needed a water pump. Cheap on normal cars, but expensive in labor as you need to remove the interior doghouse. They let us order a replacement seat belt retractor on their computer to avoid the surcharge of them ordering it for us. It's the small things that make a difference and I hope that we can pass on the good karma.

In the end, the van needed a few repairs. The seat belt ended up taking longer than we expected to arrive, so we found an old seat belt at a scrap yard (giant dead car playground). We set about trying to get the bastard seat belt out, but as you can imagine, those little belts we take so much for granted are bolted to the side like a mammas boy to his mother's leg. We tried with brute force and an alan key. Nope. We came back with the right tools lent to us by the garage. We managed to get the top bolt off and strip the bottom one making it useless. We did one more round of the vans and found another with the seat belt we needed. We could hardly get to the seat belt, let alone get it out. In the end, more pity was taken on us and they broke their policy of not helping the customer. The name, after all, was U Pick Apart. Within seconds he had gotten the seat belt off that we thought we had totally stripped. Instead of the $90 we were to spend on a new one, we got this one for $12 - a bargain if ever I saw one.

We finally left Kingman after Thanksgiving - we had epic turkey sandwiches, roast potatoes and mashed
maple sweet potato- mmmmmm. Enough of food, back to the story! We made our way to Flagstaff so we could get to the Grand Canyon early the next day. This area of Arizona is totally different with very cold weather and lots of evergreen trees. Once rested, we made our merry way to the Grand Canyon. We drove through a lot of fog to get there and didn't even consider the possibility of something as big as the Grand Canyon being hidden. We decided on what hiking trail we were going to take now that we know 'strenuous' means a relatively brutal challenge in national park language. The whole rim of the Grand Canyon was shrouded in fog. The canyon itself looked like a giant bowl of overflowing dried ice. It wasn't quite the epic scene we were preparing ourselves for, but we thought what the hell, we're here and we might as well go for a long overdue hike. It was a good hike and we were greatly rewarded for our efforts. It turns out,

that day, the view was reserved for the people who could be bothered to make the hike. As we rounded a corner to the spot we decided to turn around, the canyon unfolded below us. It was an amazing and slightly unnerving sensation - the vast space below which was capped above our heads by a giant, foggy plug. I do wish I had seen the Grand Canyon in all its glory, but this made me feel special. It made me feel like the view was reserved for the determined. One day I want to go back and do a few day hike across the Grand Canyon - there is no way to appreciate it by standing and looking over the edge. Not properly, anyway.

I know I said I wouldn't write again until Austin, but I forgot that we are pretty much just continuing on our travels in the van. We're not going everywhere we wanted as we need to make sure we have money to set up with in Austin. But we are making sure we stop in at anywhere cool along the way. Where we are does not count. We are currently in Winslow, Arizona. This is a stop between the Grand Canyon and Sante Fe, NM. We ended up here because of an Eagles song in which the town is quoted. There is little else here, although apparently there is a cool little place we were too scared to go into last night. From the outside it looked run down and very local, being practically empty to boot. We went to a little diner next door and had a mediocre dinner. We looked up reviews of the place we were too scared to walk into and it turns out we missed a little gem. I'm trying to get over this self consciousness, and if there were ever a place to do it, it's America. We only stayed the night and on our way out saw a sign stating exactly how exciting Winslow was - the town's nicest restaurant had written, in big letters, "Come and watch the trains go by!"

On the way we decided to stop off at the Petrified Forest National Park. We are partially trying to hit all the national parks to make our yearly pass value for money, but also because we love national parks. I was dubious about going to a petrified forest after my experience with my parents which included a very underwhelming clump of logs. I swore I'd never go to a petrified forest again. But it was so close and it was free. And you know what, it was actually quite beautiful. Despite the fog that limited the view, it was a great drive. I wouldn't do it again, but it was vaguely worth the 40 mile detour...

After that we made our way to Santa Fe. My parents have been telling me about this place since they visited a few years ago, so I had to make my up. The drive there was as foggy as the Grand Canyon, and we could tell we were missing some pretty intense scenery. Finally the fog started to clear and the red, jutting mesas and rocks were a new and striking backdrop for us. Santa Fe itself uses this red clay for its buildings, making it a beautiful town, and the capitol of New Mexico. It also boasts being the cultural capitol of New Mexico. Many of the buildings are done in traditional adobe style along with a traditional European cathedral (a bit smaller than English ones, and that's not something I get to say about America often). We were going to stay for two nights, but after having a delicious dinner at the local watering hole and having a great Southwestern breakfast of Huevos Rancheros, we decided to hit the road again. Santa Fe was lovely, but if I stayed any longer I was going to eat my way through our savings! Somehow we ended up taking no pictures here, which is a real shame. You'll just have to trust me that it is a picturesque city.

Dave and I have been trying our hand at bartering recently. We have haggled over our room prices and have been taking a stand when prices don't meet our expectations. We have been successful every time and hopefully as we get better at it the prices will come down. We are in Roswell now and haggled over our motel room price. I'm beginning to discover that most motel rooms are the same, just with different grades of neglect. The road into Roswell was long and boring. We had been waiting the whole trip for a strip of road like it only to find out that once you are over the sheer space, it's just monotonous. We were fairly high up (6,000 - 7,000 ft) and the wind whips the tall sides of the van, meaning you can't even sit back and relax. Instead you're gripping the steering wheel trying to hold her in one lane and hoping the slip streams created by trucks barrelling along doesn't slip you underneath them.

Roswell wasn't quite the hick town I was expecting. We drove through a lot of podunk towns and it left both Dave and I wondering what these people do. There are no shops, no bars, just a few houses stuck in the middle of nowhere. But of course, these people are ranchers and I'm sure they are rarely bored. It took us a while to realise this but once we did we more envied their purpose than mocked their boredom. Roswell

appears less country focused and more geared towards commerce. The UFO museum was great. It was cheaply done, but the attention is to information rather than aesthetics. Many of you know I am a biased here - an ex-boyfriend left me with a fascination for all things outer worldly. I thought it was great despite knowing a lot of the information posted already. The rest of the town is pretty missable apart from the alien shaped street lights. Cool.

More to come...

Piccies!

Kingman, AZ
Grand Canyon, AZ
Winslow & Petrified Forest NP, AZ

We have a new addition to the family!

We have been in Kingman now for over a week. I wish I could say that we used our time wisely. I wish I could say we got the most we could out of Kingman.  I wish we could say that under this kind of pressure, we pull out all the stops and do what needs to be done. We have, in our own, unique kind of way.

We have been making a lot of hard decisions. While this might not sound like any great accomplishment, it is very taxing. I recently read a quote that said "When life hands you lemons, the lemonade is gonna be pretty nasty unless life also hands you water and sugar." Life felt like that for a few days. Our problem is not a lack of choice, but rather, too many. The more choices you have, the more likely it is that you will choose the wrong one. Despite there not really being a wrong choice here, there are most certainly preferable choices. Our task has been a balancing act between what we should do, what we want to do, and what we can do. We are both fortunate enough to have very kind and generous parents. I have spent a lot of time wrestling in my head over whether to accept parental help. You always hear people complain about others whose parents 'bail them out.' But after much consideration, I should count myself lucky enough to have parents who can/will help in dire circumstance, as long as the generosity is not overused or abused. It is a bit of a knock to the pride, but sometimes you just have to suck it up.

We thought about moving to Phoenix, the nearest big city to us. Turns out it is one sprawling suburb with minimal public transportation. Good in theory, but we would probably have to buy 2 cars to get us to work. Austin was always the plan and if anything better came up along the way, we would stop. But now we are so close!

Cloudy Kingman

Our time in Kingman has been pretty limited to our RV. We were told on the way in by the tow guy that there is a lot of white supremacy here. They don't like foreigners who look foreign. And you can tell. It is monochromatic as far as the eye can see, despite this one little mosque. I haven't seen anyone go in or out, but it's there. Kingman is big to look over at night when the lights come on. Lots of empty plots of land between housing complexes preparing for a boom that never quite happened. It spreads across the valley and up its sides. It has been raining in Kingman for the past 2 days, which we have been told is almost unheard of. The sky loomed low over the tops of the mesas, trying to scratch some long hidden itch within the clouds. It is cold here too - 7C, or 45F.

We had the same friend who swooped in and tried to fix our engine come up with all manner of schemes. He could tow us for free if he got some work in Austin. We could store it at a friend's house in Las Vegas, he could replace the engine at some point and we split the cost of the sale. I can't imagine much stands in the way of Paul. If it does, he'll find a way over, under, both at the same time or just plough on through. He's been a great help, but in the end we have decided to store the RV in Kingman and try to sell it remotely.

We have since bought ourselves a van. A big van. It's a Dodge Ram 2500 for anyone who cares or understands. We have yet another leaky roof for which we knocked the price down by $700. Sweet! We contacted Paul before buying it to ask if this was a serious issue. Vans, luckily, are not the same as RV's.
The holes just require a bit of silicone, which we have after doing up the roof on Damon. I believe the new name of our vehicle is Mark. I'm sure the name will be embellished over time, but for now, just Mark.















Our one foray into Kingman was to see a movie at the local cinema. Upon the approach we noticed how small it was. It looked like a misplaced bit of strip mall. Sure enough, they managed to fit a cinema screen in it. But not just one, but four! The theaters were small, but it did the job. I haven't seen a cinema that busy for anything but a special release since I was a child. Looking around Kingman made the reason for this apparent - there is little else to do here. Not only was it crowded, but phones went off all the time, two disabled ladies behind us thought that their disabled badges meant 'free pass to do what the hell I want' and spoke in patches throughout the film. Overall though, it was a pleasant experience. There were a lot of families out, which is nice to see. In cities you so rarely see families do things together that doesn't involve a harness, leash and a pissed off parent.

So now we are just waiting to see if we can sell Damon before we leave. This would be ideal obviously, but unlikely. Today we are going to do much of what we have done for the past week - Stumble (internet timewasting device) and play video games. We have to take the van out for a drive and hit the local Walmart. We need to winterize the RV before storing it which requires the purchase of an air compressor. Tomorrow we take Mark to get an engine tune up and find out if we have an engine on its last legs or a stout piece of machinery. Fingers crossed, again. I'm going to have arthritis in all my joints at the rate I cross things at!  

If all goes according to plan, the next blog I write shall be from Austin!

It's all over folks...

...for the meantime.

A friend that we met at Crater Lake saw our blog. I get a call at 11:30 at night from him asking what the problem was. He said "If I wasn't so drunk now, I'd drive right over!" Dave and I just looked at each other and smiled uncontrollably for a few minutes. This kind of thing doesn't happen to us? Are people really that nice that they would go a hundred miles out of their way (he was in Death Valley) for a friend they met only once? The answer is yes. There are people that lovely.

He turned up the next morning, a complete set of tools in the back of his truck. He got straight to work on the old girl. After a quick bite at In & Out Burger, we got back to work. He got it to run! We got to see the engine in all its glory as well. We took a turn around the block and just as we started to pick up speed, a cylinder blew. The engine is no more. It is a deceased engine. It is an ex-engine. We managed to get her back to the campsite and just managed to roll in front of the dump station. It was in great need of a dump! We managed to roll her a bit further to the campsite and here she remains.

We have spent today trying to find somewhere else to stay. Somewhere that will accept our poor disabled vehicle that doesn't cost the moon and the stars like this place does. One person would take us out of six. And they didn't have internet, which we need to sell her.

We are waiting on a quote to rebuild the engine... but I doubt it's going to be feasible. Now we are weighing up our options - do we go back to Vegas? How long do we try to sell it? Every day it costs us money to stay here, and every day that's less money we have to set up somewhere. We want to buy a van just to get us to Austin, but that is reliant on us selling Damon and getting a bit more money. No salvage yard wants to take it in the area either. It is a time for decisions with a couple that struggle to decide what to have for dinner or what to watch next on TV.

We are not giving up. Please don't get me wrong. We intend to come back to Kingman, back to this campsite and back to the space we're stuck in and start all over again. We shan't let the fuckers grind us down.

All suggestions welcome, donations heartily received!

When you seek adventure, expect to find it!

A bit of a snag...

We have some news. Some fairly big news. But that is to come later.

Once we left LA, we were craving a space with no people -  a place where Dave and I could get back to what we're used to. But first, we needed to charge up the RV as it had been sitting for so long. We ended up at a gated time-share style RV resort. Honestly, the only reason we did this was the price tag - $45 for 4 nights. In resort speak, that's fucking cheap. We were a little dubious so I called to make sure there was no snag. I was told they didn't even have a sales person at the moment so we wouldn't have to sit through someone trying to sell us the space, bargain! But we were still waiting for the catch. Right up until we drove out we were waiting for something to happen; a fat bill or some condition we had overlooked. This was the first resort we had stayed in that had activities that people actively attended. We were the only people without grey hair (as someone actually commented!) but we were never made to feel out of place. It was a lovely community and I could easily see the draw for retired folk.

The site was near Palm Springs so we decided to head out and check what the fuss was about. They have a street market every Thursday so we sewed up our wallets and made the journey over. There was loads of lovely food to choose from, and we did manage to keep our purse strings tight. I mean, we bought some stuff, but Dave and I cannot walk past delicious, artisan food without picking up a token bit of luxury. We were also told to check out the flea market in the nearby University of the Desert. What a name for a school!! The flea market was pretty sprawling, but it wasn't what I was used to. I'm used to seeing quirky, second hand stuff, the things you'd find at a car boot sale in England. This instead was people trying to sell tacky t-shirts, golf cart covers, belts and other pointless commodities you only pick up to commemorate the visit. We bought nothing apart from a blooming onion for lunch. Oh wait, no, we bought a pastry brush too. Last of the big spenders!

We were eager to get to Joshua Tree National Park and get back to nature and camping. The first night we spent in a horrible campground where we were packed in like sardines in a fairly bland landscape. It really was our fault - we didn't book and didn't realise we were arriving on the weekend of a bank holiday where entry is free. All sites were full and we were lucky to find the one we did. We went down the next day to enquire about hiking trails only to be told that all hiking trails in this part of the park were closed due to

conditions within the park. We decided to take out chances and headed out north to the hiking area. It paid off - we ended up having to wait for someone as they left their campsite and bunged ourselves straight into the site once they had. It was the most beautiful campsite we have stayed in. We had no neighbors (that we could see) and the view opened out onto the Joshua Tree plains. It was peaceful and awe inspiring. We went off on our hike and tried to find one of the many trails outlined on the map. Couldn't find it so we forged our own way until we finally came across it. We ended up leaving the path anyway as it was a bit boring and headed off into some rocky hills to get a lay of the land. Once up there, we could see this glistening white rock in the distance. In that landscape, it really did stand out. So we hiked our way over and discovered we had to climb down a small canyon in order to get to it. The rocks really did come from nowhere. Someone had built a wall and 2 bowls formed in the rocks held water. It was pretty surreal, and I have no idea why it was there, but it made for fun exploring! We made our way back, and since daylight savings time had kicked in, we started to worry that we might not get back before dark. We did. But for a short while we were wondering what we would do in that eventuality. It led us to packing a properly stocked bag whenever we go hiking - food, torch, whistle, plenty of water and a warm jacket. Just in case.

We debated for a long time whether we should stay for a little longer, but we knew we were on our way to Las Vegas and needed to book a hotel. We had no access to internet and needed to stop into a fast food joint. We booked the cheapest place we could find that parked RV's on the strip and headed off toward the Mohave. We had farted about for so long at Joshua Tree and booking the hotel that dusk was drawing in as we got to the Mohave National Preserve. We had read about boondocking sites and turned off down a dirt road in search of our free haven.
Turns out the road was quite bad, so we quickly reversed and tried to get to the visitor's center before it closed. The guy, once we were there, told us that the option we had turned away from was pretty much all we were going to find. We turned around and made our way back toward the dirt track, determined to take it slow and get our free night's stay. We watched the sun go down as we made our way down the 4 mile track. We cracked a beer for the arduous journey and found ourselves in another practically empty site. We got a fire going and got our dinner on the go. Early darkness is a true bummer when camping. When we awoke the next day, we were right at the foot of some of the biggest dunes in North America. Somehow, we had nearly outdone the awesomeness of the campsite before. We got our hike in and climbed to the very top of the dunes - a task not for the undetermined! It was a hard hike, but the descent made it all worth while.

The sand makes a noise as you jump up to your knees down the dunes. Once back at the RV, I revelled in taking off all my clothes (mainly to get rid of all the sand in every place you can imagine) and running around the RV naked. There was no one there, so why the hell not I say?! Again, we were heartbroken to leave the site, but the reservation had been made and neon glitz was awaiting us.


Las Vegas. Hhmm. We got to our hotel, and had to wait in line for about 20 minutes just for check in. We were upgraded for free, which was awesome. Until we got to the room. What must the rest of the hotel be like? It was one of the more faded hotels on the strip, that's for sure. Dave and I are too sentimental for Vegas - the faded glory of hotels that were once the place to stay is too much for us. Vegas is a place designed for rich, single people or poor families. If I were ever to go back, it would be with a decent amount of money to spend. No, not a decent amount, an obscene amount. The hotels are incredible, the restaurants and clubs within them are even more a feast for the eyes. But we couldn't afford to go to any of them. So we just spent a whole day walking down the strip and going into each hotel to see what they had to offer. The

The Ventian (the sky is a painted ceiling)

Venetian has canals going through the hotel. The Wynn has a mountain in the middle complete with foliage and waterfall. Caesar's Palace is just huge and ostentatious. One problem we did find was that all the hotels had shut down their major features for cleaning or refurbishment. Treasure Island's pirate ship show was down! Why does every hotel do this at the same time?! It may be off season, but there were still lots of people around.

We decided to do a famous Vegas all you can eat buffet. We went for one of the upper end ones at the Bellagio. It was exactly as I expected it. The food was ok, with some things that stood out more than others. Okay, it wasn't as I expected it. I did expect more, especially after my careful analysis of reviews, quality and cost. They make sure the food is very rich so you can't eat that much. But it was still fun. We did the on the last night we were there, despite getting all the way there the night before and being told we only had half an hour to eat. It was our fault, we had decided on a happy hour bar crawl that led us to sitting in one bar and drinking until we had nearly run out of time. We took a shuttle back, only to find that there was construction all along the road leading to our hotel and we had to backtrack to a previous stop to get to the hotel. Although, before doing all this backtracking we tried to take shortcut through a big, fenced off parking lot next to a construction site. We set alarms off and had security very kindly tell us get the hell out. Whoops!

We were not too disheartened to leave Vegas. It's a cool place that's only worth coming out at night for. But I'd hit it either single or in my early 20's. I'm neither, and no longer want to be. We hit the road and looked

forward to the Grand Canyon. We made a brief stop at the Hoover Dam (it cost a tenner each to go into the visitor's center, so we appreciated it from outside). It was impressive, and I stole a postcard because I couldn't be bothered to wait in line. It's ok - karma got me back good. Just read on.

It's hard breaking down!

This is where it gets a bit bad. About 4 miles up the road from the Hoover Dam, just into Arizona, we broke down. We called AAA around 3:30. We made it to a campsite around midnight. The first tow truck couldn't hook up to the RV for some reason, so we had to wait for a flat bed truck to come and take us away. This truck's bed moved with comical slowness - it felt like another scene from Family Guy. When the second guy arrived we got a "the truck's a piece of shit, but it works!" A great vote of confidence! He was a chatty guy once we had settled in for the 70 mile journey to a campsite. He was a bit of a paranoid hick who thought Obama is a Muslim, but he was funny none the less. The truck itself constantly sounded like it was about to break down. To be fair, breaking down in an RV is the way to do it. We had beer, we watched an episode of Game of Thrones, it really could have been worse, and I still had faith that good old Damon wouldn't let us down.

We had someone come out to look at it the next day. It's not good. We are getting it fully checked out on Monday, but we are preparing for the 95% chance that it's over for Damon. I spent half an hour crying. I don't want this to end. I've loved this trip more than most things I've done in my life. But i have to remember that part of the reason this is so awesome is because Dave is here. And he still is. We are in the process of figuring out what the hell we are going to do. Sell her and buy another RV? Downsize? Just buy a car and a tent? Rent a car and start for Austin and start the saving all over again? I mean, the vehicle can be repaired, but at a cost we probably can't afford. Also, looking at prices in the hick town we're stuck in, the cost of repair is about what the rig is worth. There is still that 5% chance that the gaskets just need cleaning, or spark plugs need to be changed. But we are using Damon like it's our last chance. She's on death row and an approved appeal is unlikely. So we're trying to use up all the propane and using things we before didn't trouble with in case it broke down.

We shall know more tomorrow. Until then it feels like our partner has called us up and told us they're
not sure where this relationship is going. She needs some time - a week to see if this is right for her. Once someone says that it's only a matter of time anyway before it ends. The honeymoon is over. Welcome back to reality. With a short, sharp thud.

Piccies!!

Joshua Tree National Park

Mohave National Preserve

Las Vegas